


Excuses

by z0mbieshake



Series: Memories of a Better Time [4]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Asphyxiation, Backstory, M/M, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:32:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1706597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/z0mbieshake/pseuds/z0mbieshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It wasn't the right boy. Peter was so sure this time."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Excuses

It wasn't the right boy.

Peter was so sure this time. He invested so much time into finding this boy, following him, sneaking him away from The Enchanted Forest, convincing him that Pan was a god and he had been chosen to save all of magic. And when he finally took out his heart and offered it to Pan, _it didn't work_.

Pan was furious.

And that was all Felix could remember as Pan fucked him harshly in the dirt, rutting into him viciously and tearing at his flesh with his nails as he hissed over and over, " _It wasn't him_."

This wasn't the first time this happened. Every time the brought the wrong boy, Peter would pin Felix to the dirt and fuck him senseless, burning out his rage on Felix since he _knew_ the boy would take it. But Peter was so damn sure this time that when the boy ripped out his own heart under the half-empty chambers of the hourglass, Peter thought he had finally won.

Neverland's magic flared around him like a bonfire, licking at Felix's flesh and leaving burns all over and _inside_ him. Felix knew better than to cry out his name, knew that Peter wasn't listening, but he felt like Peter was killing him. He screamed, over and over as he swung his head back into the dirt underneath them. His feet slid against the leaves as he dug his elbows into the ground and tried to push himself away from Pan. He was whimpering and snivelling and doing everything Pan hated but Felix couldn't stop.

Felix flinched as a fist came down beside his head, grazing his ear as it punched the ground hard enough to shatter the twigs underneath, " _Stop being difficult_ ," He growled quietly, which made it all the more terrifying.

Felix never rejected an order from Pan, no matter how ridiculous the suggestion. He immediately slackened into the dirt, biting into his wrist to prevent himself from crying out again, limbs splayed all around him and trembling with each manic thrust from Pan. Peter lifted one of Felix's legs over his shoulder as he rammed into him harder, bruising him purposely. He took a fistful of Felix's hair to hold him in place, discouraging him from trying to escape again with a harsh shake.

Peter said nothing as he came, growling and feral as he gripped bruises onto Felix's thighs. He crushed his lips against Felix's, biting and tearing them till they were nothing but mangled flesh. Instead of pulling out or treating Felix's still aching erection, Peter merely stared at Felix. His outward rage was gone, replaced with some silent fury hidden behind calculating eyes. Felix took in heavy, quick breaths, unable to comprehend Pan's intent.

Then hands came around his throat and _squeezed_.

Felix's scream died in his throat. He grabbed at Peter's wrists instinctively, fighting against all the strength of Neverland as he tried to pry Peter's finger off. His legs kicked frantically, catching Peter on the side occasionally but doing nothing to deter him. Darkness was beginning to eat away at his vision, spotting the edges with pitch black ink.

With the last of his lucidity, Felix choked out Peter's name. Of all the last words he could have said, Felix knew this would be the best. His fingers slid off Peter's arm, extremities feeling numb before Peter finally released him. He instinctively tried to take a breath in, back arching as he coughed violently.

Peter pulled out from him but didn't back away, towering over Felix as the boy sputtered and choked, struggling to breathe.

Felix flinched as Peter's hands found his face. Even with the gentleness he caressed his cheeks with, Felix couldn't stop himself from trembling in fear. He bit down on his lip, swallowing the burning feeling in his throat so he wouldn't interrupt Peter with his coughing.

"Even if the hourglass runs out," Peter whispered, "You'll still remain young forever."

Although Peter's voice was kind, Felix could see the rage hidden behind the softly spoken words. It broke Felix's heart to know that Peter was angry at him, angry that he was actually a boy and would outlive him in Neverland.

Unable to do anything else, Felix spoke to reassure his king, "If the hourglass runs out, I'll die with you."

Whether he was satisfied with the answer, Peter pulled away before Felix could tell. He fixed his clothing and left Felix laying on the ground covered in dead leaves and dirt. Felix lay there for at least an hour, not caring if any lost boys happened to see him splayed out in the dirt like a corpse, exposed for everyone to see. The reasons he worshipped Pan after all these years always blurred in these moments, smothered by the ache in his thighs and chest.

As Felix sat by the campfire, fully dressed with a scarf tied around his neck to hide the vicious bruises, Felix reasoned with himself that it wouldn't happen again. Peter was angry. He needed an outlet. Next time, they won't fail. They'll find the right boy. He'll make sure of it personally. He should've made sure of it personally. It's his fault for not being more involved. It's his fault for being so powerless. And Peter had every right to punish him for it because _he deserved this._

_I don't deserve this._

But when Peter came around all smiles, curling his arms around Felix's waist and pressing soft kisses into his cheek, a present of rum pushed into his hands, a hollow apology repeated too many times, Felix felt himself accepting his excuses all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> In my mind, Felix laying back and letting Peter take his anger out on him is completely canon. Granted, I don't think it'd nearly be as dark as this. This was mostly an attempt to paint Panlix in a darker light. Bonus if Felix is doing it half because he loves Peter and half to spare the rest of the lost boys from Peter's wrath


End file.
